THE PRETEND ARTIST

THE PRETEND ARTIST

How to hate Jeff Koons like the artworld's in crowd

by KOD Staff

The man every critic loves to hate, Jeff Koons is arguably the biggest artist in the world right now. He holds the title of 'World's most Expensive Living Artist' and his solo show at The Whitney has people queuing for hours on East Seventy-fifth Street. But from The New Yorker to The Independant, Jerry Saltz to Vice, people struggle to find good things to say about the King of Contemporary Art. So if you can't face the crowds, or just can't face his artworks, we've pulled together some quotes to help you criticize 'Jeff Koons: A Retrospective' without ever having to step inside The Whitney Museum of American Art.  

 

      ‘Pretend Jeff Koons is an artist. Not a happy hotshot in a suit, serving crystal meth to big-game-buying mega collectors and auction houses’      - Jerry Saltz, Vulture.com, 2013

‘Pretend Jeff Koons is an artist. Not a happy hotshot in a suit, serving crystal meth to big-game-buying mega collectors and auction houses’

- Jerry Saltz, Vulture.com, 2013

‘Warhol ennobled the consumer product; Koons is in the business of making the ultimate luxury bauble.’

- Ariella Budick, Financial Times, 2014

       ‘Is Jeff Koons having a laugh?’      - Lucy Davies, The Telegraph, 2012

‘Is Jeff Koons having a laugh?’

- Lucy Davies, The Telegraph, 2012

       ‘Why Koons insistently produces immense paintings of montaged images beggars comprehension. They’re boring.’      - Peter Schjeldahl, The New Yorker, 2014

‘Why Koons insistently produces immense paintings of montaged images beggars comprehension. They’re boring.’

- Peter Schjeldahl, The New Yorker, 2014

‘It seems utterly preposterous, almost beyond the most absurd critical joke, that anyone should take this stuff seriously at all, or have the gall to stick the label of art on it.’

- The Independent, 2009

       ‘Should we expect any surprizes from the Koons show? No… [he has] been flaccid and overrated for years’      - Hrag Vartanian, Hyperallergenic, 2014

‘Should we expect any surprizes from the Koons show? No… [he has] been flaccid and overrated for years’

- Hrag Vartanian, Hyperallergenic, 2014

‘Koons has become superrich making high-gloss, programmatically brainless ornaments for rich people’

- Ben Davis, Slate.com, 2013

       ‘Forever an egotistical megalomaniac, Koons is obsessed with himself, this inflated self-importance has overstretched all sensible values, reaching the point of no return’      - Artlyst, 2011

‘Forever an egotistical megalomaniac, Koons is obsessed with himself, this inflated self-importance has overstretched all sensible values, reaching the point of no return’

- Artlyst, 2011

‘Just when it looked as if the ‘80s were over, Jeff Koons has provided one last pathetic gasp of the sort of self-promoting trype and sensationalism that characterized the worst of the decade’

- Michael Kimmelman, New York Times, 1991

      ‘Why won’t Jeff Koons leave us alone?’      - Bob Nickas, Vice, 2012      ‘In short: Jeff Koons is famous and his art is expensive’      - Kathryn Tully, Forbes, 2014

‘Why won’t Jeff Koons leave us alone?’

- Bob Nickas, Vice, 2012

‘In short: Jeff Koons is famous and his art is expensive’

- Kathryn Tully, Forbes, 2014

 

Leave a comment

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.

90'S GRUNGE WEIGHS IN ON FASHION

Smudged lipstick, lolita-esque nighties, & ripped stockings, ready to confuse & disturb

Chloe Mackey

Read more »
Share »

A SEXLESS SOCIETY IS HERE

Fashion rides the gender blending trend  

Maria Raposo

Read more »
Share »

THE HEDI SLIMANE EFFECT ON YVES SAINT LAURENT

How the designer remade the house of Yves Saint Laurent

Greg French

Read more »
Share »

NAN GOLDIN: THE BALLAD OF SEXUAL DEPENDENCY

The artist captures the essence of humanity and life on the edge

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

SYNCHRODOGS: “I must be dreaming”

We speak to the photography duo about synchronicity & the power of dreams

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

MEET THE ARTISTS CHINA CAN'T KEEP CONTAINED

Artists Sun Yuan & Peng Yu use dead babies & live animals in their creations to blur the lines of art & reality

Peter Yeung

Read more »
Share »

JOSEPH BEUYS: I LIKE AMERICA AND AMERICA LIKES ME

What we can learn from artist about race relations and how to heal a nation    

Peter Yeung

Read more »
Share »

THE COLLAGE RENAISSANCE

Contemporary collage is the new Pop Art collectors are buying into

Harriet Baker

Read more »
Share »

DAVID BOWIE PUSHED THE LIMITS OF MUSIC, ART & FASHION

Bowie was an artist and an explorer that embodied true individuality that our generation craves

Fiona Ma

Read more »
Share »

FASHION PHOTOGRAPHY GETS HYPER-REAL

From Erwin Blumenfeld to Nick Knight, fashion constructs fantastical images

Greg French

Read more »
Share »

90'S GRUNGE WEIGHS IN ON FASHION

Smudged lipstick, lolita-esque nighties, & ripped stockings, ready to confuse & disturb

Chloe Mackey

Read more »
Share »

A SEXLESS SOCIETY IS HERE

Fashion rides the gender blending trend  

Maria Raposo

Read more »
Share »

THE HEDI SLIMANE EFFECT ON YVES SAINT LAURENT

How the designer remade the house of Yves Saint Laurent

Greg French

Read more »
Share »

NAN GOLDIN: THE BALLAD OF SEXUAL DEPENDENCY

The artist captures the essence of humanity and life on the edge

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

SYNCHRODOGS: “I must be dreaming”

We speak to the photography duo about synchronicity & the power of dreams

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

MEET THE ARTISTS CHINA CAN'T KEEP CONTAINED

Artists Sun Yuan & Peng Yu use dead babies & live animals in their creations to blur the lines of art & reality

Peter Yeung

Read more »
Share »

JOSEPH BEUYS: I LIKE AMERICA AND AMERICA LIKES ME

What we can learn from artist about race relations and how to heal a nation    

Peter Yeung

Read more »
Share »

THE COLLAGE RENAISSANCE

Contemporary collage is the new Pop Art collectors are buying into

Harriet Baker

Read more »
Share »

DAVID BOWIE PUSHED THE LIMITS OF MUSIC, ART & FASHION

Bowie was an artist and an explorer that embodied true individuality that our generation craves

Fiona Ma

Read more »
Share »

FASHION PHOTOGRAPHY GETS HYPER-REAL

From Erwin Blumenfeld to Nick Knight, fashion constructs fantastical images

Greg French

Read more »
Share »

THE EVOCATIVE IMAGES OF STREET PHOTOGRAPHY

Eminent street photographers find beauty in the ordinary

Leah Sinclair

Read more »
Share »

THE ZINE SCENE IS BACK

Self-Publishing is Having a Moment and It’s Redefining Youth and Self Expression

Leah Sinclair

Read more »
Share »

PLASTIC PURGERY – BARBIE IN BONDAGE BREAKS THE INTERNET

Photographer Mariel Clayton Reinvents the Stereotype of the Female Form

Fiona Ma

Read more »
Share »

LOUIS VUITTON - SERIES 3 EXHIBITION

Nicolas Ghesquière: less mask, more man

Greg French

Read more »
Share »

REGENERATION OR GENTRIFICATION?

The changing face of London’s artistic communities

Peter Yeung

Read more »
Share »

INSIDE THE CHELSEA HOTEL

The legendary New York hangout of rockstars and Hollywood royalty

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

IN CONVERSATION WITH OLAF BREUNING

The artist talks about the endless interpretations of his work and life

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

REVEALED: KURT COBAIN'S ORIGINAL ARTWORK

A dark look into the mind of Nirvana’s tortured frontman

Daryl Mersom

Read more »
Share »

ABOUT A GIRL: TEENAGERS IN POP CULTURE

Exploring media fantasies from saints to bad-ass sinners of female youth

Leah Sinclair

Read more »
Share »

ART GONE VIRAL

Performance art videos are paving the way for activism through social media

Leah Sinclair

Read more »
Share »

IN CONVERSATION WITH ARTIST TOM LEAMON

The ritual experiments of painting and poetry

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

COLLAGE ARTIST HOLLY-ANNE BUCK/COLLAGISM

We talk to the artist about playing with abstraction & reconstructing reality

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

FROM UNISEX TO ANTI-FASHION

Meet Rudi Gernreich, the first gender blender fashion activist

Alessandro Esculapio

Read more »
Share »

THE REVIVAL OF WARP N’ WEFT

From artisan to art; the lost craft of tapestry is making a comeback

KOD Staff

Read more »
Share »

THE ALCHEMY OF COLLAGE: ARTISTS IRINA & SILVIU SZEKELY

Art is not art if it doesn’t generate misrepresentation, confusion, anger or sarcasm

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »

THE CREATIVE CLASS: MAKING IT THEIR WAY

Photographer Francesca Allen captures the talented, genuine and real

KOD Staff

Read more »
Share »

'80S ICON KEITH HARING’S POP SHOP

The Art and Commerce of Giving Back

Alessandro Esculapio

Read more »
Share »

THE DEATH OF BRONSON

The art and literature of "Charles Bronson"; Britain's most notorious prisoner

KOD Staff

Read more »
Share »

THE PSYCHEDELIC LOVE-IN OF THE FABULOUS COCKETTES

San Francisco’s original underground glitter troupe

KOD Staff

Read more »
Share »

THE MODERN DAY DANDY CULT

Old fashioned values and classic sartorial style returns to mens fashion

Ellie Howard

Read more »
Share »
Top